Having partnered mature males, and having treated many for trauma, there's apparently a secret that you aren't mentioning, and I wonder why? When a man can stand still and face the pain, letting it be without resisting or insisting, a shift happens and he'll cross a threshold into tenderness and relief. These are pleasures. Understanding begins to dawn. Fear is, after all, a lack of understanding. When he understands, he has choices. Freely choosing is a pleasure. If he understands that facing fear and suffering will bring relief, relaxation, and understanding, he grows his capacity to face fear and suffering; he is stronger because he is more relaxed, and his capacity can continue to grow. This is the way to wellbeing. The world would have ended long ago if suffering didn't yield to pleasure.
Having partnered mature males, and having treated many for trauma, there's apparently a secret that you aren't mentioning, and I wonder why? When a man can stand still and face the pain, letting it be without resisting or insisting, a shift happens and he'll cross a threshold into tenderness and relief. These are pleasures. Understanding begins to dawn. Fear is, after all, a lack of understanding. When he understands, he has choices. Freely choosing is a pleasure. If he understands that facing fear and suffering will bring relief, relaxation, and understanding, he grows his capacity to face fear and suffering; he is stronger because he is more relaxed, and his capacity can continue to grow. This is the way to wellbeing. The world would have ended long ago if suffering didn't yield to pleasure.